It’a better today,
my jaw isn’t so stiff.
It no longer feels like there’s a barbed lump in my throat.
I slept for a whole hour,
this might still be a dream.
I might not have been beaten to within an inch of my life.
A fellow female might not have cheered on and said that I deserved it.
This might just be a hangover,
the worst of all time.
My mother might not be sobbing quietly next to me,
No might have meant no,
there might have been something in his drink.
Might have been rhoid rage.
Might have never gone to the party.
Might have never loved him.
There were no terrified nights thinking he would hurt me,
the break up wasn’t even my idea.
I did not curl in a ball on the kitchen floor as I drowned in my own blood.
I might be mistaken,
maybe my ex did not try to kill me.
This might just be a nightmare.