A misunderstanding

This was how it started. I went online in search of a balm for my boredom. I ended up on a dating site (it took me 2 minutes flat to register). I did not photo shop my picture. Under interests I wrote Tom Hiddleston and under skills I wrote sarcasm. Under people I admire I went with Mandy from Billy and Mandy- or was it called Grim Ripper.
My laptop started pinging and did not stop for the remainder of the night. The chats were entertaining, my mission for the night had been a success. I was asked out to coffee, I thought what the hell, do it.
It was only as I sat at the café, waiting for the espresso to cool that I realized what I had done. I immediately texted at least three of my friends my whereabouts and told them to call the police if I did not check in within the hour. I then looked at the previous night’s conversation to make sure there were no sociopathic markers. I tried to remember what I had seen in a self-defence class on you tube. Stranger danger had come crashing into my reality.
He walked in a little nervously. He had a kind smile, shorter than I expected but that was fine. He sat by me when I waved him over. He was no killer. He started to talk, stopped, and then started again.
“I did not expect this…”He said.
“Oh yes, my skin is a bit darker and maybe I’m a little shorter.” I said.
“No.. what I mean is… please forgive me but…what were you doing on the dating site?”
“I do not understand.”
“It’s a gay site. I thought you were… I mean you’re a real woman.”
I looked at the site specs again. We had a laugh about it and I bought him a muffin. I would deal with the fact that I could pass for a man some other time.


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