An idiot’s guide to terrorism

heavenly riches irony

The following occured between 10:02am and 10:04am. Except the last half. And the first.

Ms.Trump’s class in a sweltering afternoon. Am at the boundary between the living and the sleepng.

Sirens stir the 12th grade scholars awake.

We see a man scampering through the school’s doorway.

A minute later he joins us in class.

But he has no intention of listening to Ms.Trump’s vomit of a class.

He appears to be on the run.

Isys: All you cunts, move to the back of the class.Fucking hurry!

Ms.Trump: aaaaaah!(screaming) a radical with a black accent but no obvious black features!!

Isys: Say another word and I blow your fucking head off infidel!

Obama(class president): But you only have a knife.

Isys: I expected you to back me up bro! What’s your fucking name? And the other kid’s, you know, of our kind?

Obama: Barac and Adam Ball.Why are we shouting?!

Isys: (still shouting) Barac and Ball, to the window. Hurry the shit up!

(Barac and I move to the window, away from our classmates)

Me: Why are you doing this?

Isys: To get heavenly riches.

Me: You mean the 72 virgins?

Isys: Uh-huh!

Me: If all your women are married off by 18, how are there virgins in heaven?

Isys: Fuck the shut up!

Barac: But the leader who sent you has 200 mistresses and earthly riches.

John: And cars.

Lindsey: And weed.

Carl: And oil.

Ms.Trump: And obamacare.

Hillary: And no suicide vest on their chest.

Isys: I said shut up!

Me: Nice keffiyeh though.

Isys:Thanks! Its Amanikh!

(Sniper from outside blows his head up. Barac and I are taken in for questioning by the FBI. Ms.Trump told them she smelled “kahootsies” )


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