Tommy the cat was an animal. Just the other day after clearing his bowl of milk, he chased that prick Jerry right up a tree. He had been the cat of the house for decades and no one dared cross into his turf. All randy cats knew who to come to for some pedigree kittens and he did not disappoint.

He lived a simple life, terrorizing Jerry, training his mistress, and keeping the pussies off him. He had a luxurious grey-black coat and was lithe and handsome. If he was one of those cats willing to be reduced to the length of their tails and the timbre of their purr, he would be an internet star.

Tom admits that he lives a charmed life. He has a wardrobe full of ribbons and fridge packed with milk. How did he stop it all from getting in his head? Small acts of humility. The skin under his coat was filled with scars from his efforts. He allowed poor Jerry who had to content himself with a hole for a home to get a hit in every once in a while. And the homeless toms, neighborhood dogs, the odd large mouse had a rare free pass to tree him, chase him, and singe his fur.

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